An Apple As Red As Blood
by BitAndBridle27
Summary: A mysterious fruit basket, a question left unasked, and an unfortunate price to be paid. One action can change everyone's lives, even something as small as taking a bite of fruit. What happens when Kate takes that bite?
1. Take A Bite

**Hi everyone! This is going to be my first multi-chapter fic and I'm actually really excited for it! Yes, the plot does heavily draw from Snow White (still working out the medical stuff for that). Let's see where this idea goes...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle... or Snow White, but they're on my wishlist**

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When you're Richard Castle's girlfriend, you get used to the fact that Richard Castle = fangirls + paparazzi. Kate Beckett was no exception to this rule (though she did have the most time to get used to it as she has stayed with him the longest). She understood that women asked him to sign their chests (which is why she tended to make appearances at his book parties) and that nasty glares came with the title of girlfriend (to which she just glared back and held Castle a little bit closer) and that crazy fans do crazy things.

In her three year romance and seven year partnership with Castle, she had seen some crazy things. Numerous women asked for their chests to be signed, he had gotten out of sticky situations by saying his name, a reporter threw herself at him wearing a bikini, and there was one time when a girl stood on Broome Street wearing nothing but a custom-made _Heat Wave_ towel and cheered "Rick! Rick! Rick!" Kate was not sure what disturbed her more about the last incident: that the girl was technically wearing a naked picture of Kate or that when she and Castle went onto the balcony to see who was making the ruckus, the girl dropped her towel and cheered even more (Castle spent the next two hours reassuring Kate that her body was much more glorious than the fan's body and promising to never look at another woman again).

These crazy things taught Kate lessons about being Castle's girlfriend, and, after three years, she had come to the conclusion that she had definitely mastered the art of "not letting Castle's fame bother her." She hoped to spend the rest of her life with him and that meant accepting all of him and his life.

The one thing Kate was not prepared for is having crazy fan debacles involve her directly.

* * *

For Kate, sleep primarily involved cuddling up next to Castle, feeling the heat of his body radiate onto her while his cool hands traced soft patterns on her skin, and listening to his even breathing.

Unfortunately, this meant that when Castle was not in bed, Kate usually woke up or, if he was gone for the whole night, could never fall asleep.

For the past week, Kate had awoken to him missing from bed more often than usual. If it had been his normal "idea for writing" insomnia, she would have gotten out of bed and went over to the chair he was in, wrapped her arms around his neck and watched as he wrote. However, this missing pattern was not normal. Kate would wake up and establish that he was inside the closet next to his side of the bed. She would hear the snap of something like a box closing and then hear him let out a quiet sigh.

Friday morning, for the first time, Kate made it known that she was awake.

"Castle?" she called out quietly. His heart jumped at the sound of her voice but he calmed himself down instantly.

"Hey," he whispered, walking back over to their bed on her side instead of his. She looked up at him; her hazel eyes looked slightly worried. In response, he brushed a stray hair from her face and gave a soft smile.

"Are you all right?" Kate asked, "You've been getting up more than usual lately." She did not add that she knew he was always in their walk-in closet when he was up.

Castle nodded. "I'm fine, just haven't been able to stay asleep is all."

"Seem to have lost my ability to tire you out," she replied in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He chuckled softly and replied, "No, you definitely still tire me out, you spring chicken," as he walked back over to his side of the bed and got under the soft-to-a-fault covers.

Immediately, Kate cuddled up next to him and instinctively, Castle kissed her hair and ran a hand down her arm in comfort.

"I love you, Kate," he whispered, "Go to sleep."

Calming darkness took over her mind again.

* * *

The morning brought a rare treat. Kate was completely off work. Not on call, not at the station, just home and all Castle's. This meant that the couple woke up late and didn't bother to change into uncomfortable work clothes. At eleven, they were still blissfully relaxed and snuggled together on the couch quietly, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"Kate," Castle whispered into her hair. This was the perfect moment, he thought, to ask her the most important question of their lives.

"Hmm?" Kate asked, shifting slightly so she could look up at him.

Before Castle could reply, there was a knock at the door and Kate shot up with an "I'll get it."

She opened the door and upon seeing nobody, looked down to find a gorgeous fruit basket with a burgundy ribbon tied onto the handle. The detective picked up the fruit basket and carried it inside.

"Castle," she began, "did you order me a fruit basket?"

Castle got up and walked over to the kitchen counter where Kate had placed the fruit basket. It added a huge splash of color to the immaculate kitchen.

"For once, the answer is no," he said, staring at the basket with a twinge of jealousy that he had never thought of that. "Is it addressed to you?"

Kate nodded, "Yeah it just says 'To Kate, From A Fan' on the little card. I figured you were trying to be cute." She frowned at the artful basket of fruit. Whoever was gifting it to her deserved a thank you and it peeved her that they did not leave a name.

"Kind of suspicious," she commented, her detective skills kicking in.

Castle shifted the fruit around, ruining the decorative placement. "Come on, Kate, it's not like somebody hid a bomb in a fruit basket," he reassured her, adding, "And even if they did, I know how to defuse it. It's probably just one of the boys playing a joke or something because _Blistering Heat_ is coming out."

His girlfriend smiled at him. "I guess you're right," she resolved.

In an effort to fully diffuse the tension, Castle picked the brightest red apple of the basket and held it out to her with both hands.

"For the apple of my eye," he told her with a cheesy-romantic air about him.

Kate smirked and took the apple from his hands, grazing her fingertips along his palm as she held the apple up.

"Very suave, Mr. Castle," she teased. Seductively, she bit into it and chewed.

Within the first chew, a sense of alarm went through both Kate and Castle. Kate paused for a split second and her eyes widened. Her eyes were glazed with some sort of horror and Castle watched as her body convulsed once and then again. In an instant, his arms shot forward to catch her as she fell back.

Time seemed to slow around them. Castle broke her fall and she lay limp like a pathetic rag doll in his arms. The apple slipped from her hand and rolled across the floor until it came to rest on a white wall and sat there. It looked like a bloodstain on a pale corpse.

"Kate?" Castle whispered tearfully, begging any sort of God or spirit he could think of that this was all a horrible, horrible nightmare.

"Kate!" he cried at the lifeless body of a beautiful woman in his arms.

There was no response.

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**Reviews are like potato chips, you need more than one (heh heh, Reality Star Struck reference). Seriously, reviews are much appreciated!**


	2. Promise Me

**Happy Valentine's Day! Unfortunately, the day in this story is not so happy for Castle. Thanks for overwhelming response to the first chapter (especially the number of followings!) and I hope you enjoy the second installment!**

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At Bellevue Hospital, in the stark white waiting room of the Emergency and Trauma Center, a lone figure sat away from the rest of the people. Richard Castle had his face buried in his hands. His eyes felt scratchy and he knew they were probably red and puffy.

He had already called everyone to tell them what happened. Alexis, in her senior year at college, had told him she would leave as fast as she could. His mother said she'd abandon her acting class to come as soon as she could. As soon as Castle said "Kate's been poisoned," Lanie had hung up the phone. He knew she was coming once she sorted out work. Ryan and Esposito both went into detective mode and were currently handling the case of the mysterious fruit basket, abandoning their normal homicide investigations. Then there was Jim. Castle could hear Jim's voice crack with sadness when he was told the news. He said he would be coming as soon as he could and then hung up the phone. Castle knew that he had hung up before the tears came. Kate was his only child and all he had left and now her life hung in the balance.

_Poisoned_. How could he have been so stupid? Castle mentally kicked himself. He had urged her that the fruit was okay. He had handed her the apple. She was on the brink of death because of him!

His blood began pumping and his heart raced. It was his fault. It was all his fault. Castle clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. How could he have done this to her? He loved her, damn it! He felt lightheaded from his emotions warring inside his body.

_Okay, Rick. Calm down. Breathe. She's not finished fighting yet._ When he was little, his mother would tell him to count to ten and retrace his thoughts, organizing them and trying to be at peace with them.

One.

_He called 9-1-1. The disembodied voice at the other end was calm. She said help was on the way and to keep his girlfriend as still as possible. She said to try calling her name but Kate did not respond to that._

Two.

_The EMTs arrived. They set to work immediately. He pointed out the apple and fruit basket to them. Kate's lips were blue and her breathing had gotten shallower._

Three.

_In the ambulance, Kate's body seized. It was slight, but it still scared Castle. An EMT assured him they would do everything they could to save her. _

Four.

_Kate's heart rate had dropped and her breathing was almost imperceptible. The ambulance was reaching its destination._

Five.

_They unloaded Kate's body and were greeted at the Emergency and Trauma Center with nurses ready to go. Castle went to follow Kate._

Six.

_One of the EMTs stopped him. He muttered something about needing to be with her. Kate seized again._

Seven.

_Whatever happened was a blur, but Castle ran to her side and held her hand. He promised he would be there for her. He promised she would wake up and be all better. _

Eight.

_An EMT backed him up and they wheeled Kate away quickly. Tears began rolling down Castle's cheeks as he watched his true love leave him._

Nine.

_Someone showed him to the waiting room and he made his calls._

Ten.

_He buried his face in his hands and started crying. His body shook with every sob._

Instead of being at peace, more tears rolled down Castle's cheeks. The thought of Kate, _his_ Kate, fighting this battle without him made him sick. How did it come to this? How did their life take a turn for the worst? Who would ever want to hurt Kate like this? Strike that, some people wanted to hurt Kate but poison was not exactly their _modus operandi_.

"Dad?" A voice jogged Castle from his thoughts.

"Alexis," he murmured in response. He stood up and pulled her in for a much-needed hug. Yet Alexis could feel how unyielding he was. Stiff and rigid, it was as if he was arming himself against more hurt.

They stood like that for a while until Alexis initiated the break in the embrace.

"How is she?" the redhead asked, concern thick in her voice.

Castle's eyes faded even more than they already had. "I don't know. They haven't said anything to me," he replied. He averted his eyes from Alexis, trying to shield his pain from her.

"She'll be fine, Dad. She's survived more than this," Alexis tried to reassure him.

As if on silent cue, a male doctor in a white lab coat came into the waiting room. He had ginger hair and calm eyes, as if nothing were wrong in the world. For Castle, however, everything was wrong in the world. "Ms. Beckett's family?" the doctor asked.

Castle jumped at the sound of his girlfriend's last name.

"Yes, that's me," he said rapidly, "How is Kate? Is she okay? Can we see her?"

The doctor motioned for Castle and Alexis to sit down with him. Once settled, he began a medical explanation of what happened to Kate.

"First, you'll be happy to know that she is in stable condition. However, as of right now, she is in a coma. We're not sure why, but sometimes the body shuts itself off when something happens that is as traumatic as what she has gone through."

"And what did she go through, exactly?" Castle questioned.

"The apple she bit into was laced with Carfentanil, it's an opioid and one of the most potent. It's not used with humans because of how potent it is. Just the one bite gave her an overdose, which we can see from her pinpoint pupils and their responses to the tests we did," the doctor (whose nametag read "Dr. Gavin Shakes") explained, "We gave her Diprenorphine to counteract the effects of the Carfentanil. It's stronger than the more commonly used Naloxone."

"And the coma?" Castle asked, struggling to process all the information he was being told. All he could think about was seeing her.

Dr. Shakes shrugged. "Only time will tell. It's quite possible that her body just needs to recover from the trauma and she needs to know, even self-consciously, that she is safe."

Castle and Alexis both nodded. The writer still looked a lot like a zombie; his normally twinkling blue eyes had a haunted look about them. The scenes from her initial poisoning were playing over and over in his head. All he could think about was how cool she felt and how her eyes had shone pure horror in them just before she collapsed.

"You can go see her now," Dr. Shakes told Castle and his daughter.

With her father not responding, Alexis took point on thanking the doctor and finding out what room Kate was in. She and Castle walked from the ER to the ICU, then down a bland-colored hallway to a private room that had a rhythmic beeping and the sound of air _whooshing_ coming from inside.

In the sole bed lay Kate. She was hooked up to monitors, IVs and other various pieces of equipment. Her skin was still deathly pale but she looked as if she was sleeping peacefully rather than fighting the trauma of severe poisoning.

Castle walked up to her bedside while Alexis hovered by the door. She did not want to intrude on any moment they were sharing, even if one party had no idea it was going on.

The writer picked up his muse's cold left hand in his own. His thumb stroked the top of it and settled on her ring finger. He smiled softly for the first time since the poisoning.

"Now you just have to wake up," he whispered to Kate, "And then we can continue the conversation from this morning. Promise me you will, Kate?"

It was definitely his imagination but he wanted to be real because he could have sworn Kate's head moved, just the smallest fraction of measure, but it still moved.

"I love you, Kate," he murmured in her ear before giving her hand one final squeeze and then laying it back on her chest.

Alexis had walked over to her father and put her arms around him. She laid her head on his arm and let out a small sigh, her blue eyes tracing over Kate's comatose form.

"She'll be okay," Castle told her, trying to reassure himself as much as his daughter.

"Yeah," Alexis agreed, "Yeah, she will be."

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**Reviews are like chocolate on Valentine's Day, you can never have enough. Also, just a note that I can also understand Italian (and write it fairly well) so feel free to post reviews or PM me in that language as well as English!**

**Posso capire italiano inoltre. Puoi scrivere le critiche in quella lingua anche! (my possibly horrid Italian :/)**


	3. Devotion

**Hi everyone! I'm really appreciating all the follows from you guys, it makes me feel so happy! This chapter is slightly lighter than the last two and also has a slight time jump. Enjoy!**

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_Trying to live and love,  
With a heart that can't be broken,  
Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened.  
Yeah, we both carry baggage,  
We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,  
And I will do the same._

_Glass by Thompson Square_

* * *

Four days. Four days of not being able to touch her, kiss her, watch her, and see her eyes glow. Four days had gone by since his world had shattered around him. The shards of glass from his shattered world had ripped open wound after wound on his heart and everybody else's hearts.

Richard Castle was on the edge of losing his calm. He tried to put on a good face for everyone. For his daughter, who came to the hospital once a day to see Kate and brought new flowers each day. For his mother, who had been constantly by his side these past four days. Martha had cancelled her acting classes until further notice.

If she was not at the hospital with Castle and Jim (who was a constant figure at his daughter's bedside throughout the day), she was getting food and fresh clothing for both men. Martha also stayed with Kate if Jim and Castle both could not (the only time being when she had demanded Castle go home and get some proper rest).

Lanie had also become a very familiar figure in Kate's room. Although she had to work, in her off hours she was in the little pale-colored private room. Despite the somber mood, the Medical Examiner continued to remain optimistic and tried to remain at least a bit cheery for everyone else. She would tell funny stories about Kate to bring Castle and everyone else's spirits up. It actually worked, Castle remarking to Kate's comatose form more than once that he was seeing another side of her since she could not threaten to shoot anyone.

The real troopers of the whole situation were Ryan and Esposito. Even though they had hit a virtual dead end with Kate's poisoning, they continued to scrape through every piece of evidence possible. Currently, Castle knew they were trying to re-trace the fruit basket's steps (or… carries?) to see if they could find any witnesses or the origination of it. They would come by after their shifts to fill Castle in- they also did that numerous times each day over cell phone.

Yesterday, it had surprised Castle that instead of the boys, Captain Gates came to the hospital. She brought a lovely bouquet of flowers and was the most sincere Castle had ever seen her. Although Gates had accepted Kate and Castle's relationship (which completely blew the couple away), she had remained aloof when it came to Castle. However, Castle thought, perhaps this was the time when she would finally change her tune.

Even with all of the support and love, Castle was still close to his wits' end. At the present time, on Tuesday (the fifth day of his nightmare), he was sitting in his normal chair next to Kate's bed. Jim had gone out to get them both a bite to eat because the hospital's food was like chewing on sawdust.

The rhythmic beeping of Kate's heart monitor was driving him insane. He did not want it to do anything else, but did it really have to be so loud?

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

It was like nails on a chalkboard to him. It was the reason he could not fall asleep here at night. And it was so… so… _frustrating_.

The monitor was frustrating because it was so rhythmic. Even when Castle held Kate's hand, even when he whispered that he loved her into her ear, even when he brushed the flyaway hair out of her face with such a soft tenderness, the monitor did not change its pattern.

He _wanted_ her heart to flutter like a hummingbird. He _wanted_ it to beat faster like her heart usually did when he touched her. He _wanted_ some sort of sign that the Kate that would shiver at even the thought of his touch was still in there.

That monitor just reiterated how bad this situation was. She was not Kate anymore. She was just a body.

Shuffling and the rustling of a bag announced the arrival of Jim Beckett.

"Hey, Rick," Jim greeted his daughter's partner, "I'm back."

Castle looked up and smiled. "Hi, Jim," Castle replied in greeting. Jim observed how tired and spent Castle looked. Even he did not feel like what Castle looked like. Perhaps it was because the writer had watched Kate fall. Or perhaps it was because of how deep their connection went. Just like someone dying from a broken heart, Jim believed it was possible Castle felt the pain of seeing Katie lying there day after day, not moving.

Jim pulled two sandwiches out of the paper bag along with two water bottles. "Mozzarella, roaster red peppers, pesto, and a little chicken," the older Beckett said, handing the sandwich over to Castle.

"Thanks," Castle replied with a small smile.

For a while, the two ate in silence. At least one pair of eyes was always on Kate's body in the bed, making sure she did not stir or anything.

When they were both about halfway through their sandwiches, Castle broke the silence.

"Jim?" Castle began tentatively.

Kate's father looked up from his meal, his eyes warm and welcoming to Castle. In the past few days, although he had respected his daughter's boyfriend before, he had grown much fonder of Castle. He could see the extreme level of devotion the writer had for her and he held Castle with the highest of respect now.

"Yeah?" Jim asked.

Castle cleared his throat. "Be-before the-the accident, Kate and I were talking. And unfortunately I never got to get to the point of the conversation, but now I realize I had not even talked to you about it first."

"Asked me about what?" Jim questioned with raised eyebrows.

"I want to ask Kate to marry me. I wanted to ask her on Friday but this nightmare took over. And now I want to ask her _when_," he lingered on the when, "she comes out of this. She's the only woman I can ever see myself being with for the rest of my life. And I just wanted to make sure I have your permission on this matter."

Jim was quiet for a minute and Castle thought for a fleeing second that he was going to say no. Then he smiled.

"If anyone could ever have my permission, Rick, it would be you," he told the writer.

"Really?" Castle asked in disbelief.

Jim nodded. "Nobody but you has ever showed this amount of devotion to Katie. She deserves the best and that is most definitely you. I know you'll take good care of her, Rick."

"I'll take better than excellent care of her," Castle vowed to his senior. Jim smiled and offered his hand out to Castle, who took it in a firm grip and shook it.

Sandwich forgotten, Castle suddenly felt the urge to go up to his girlfriend and make sure she was not forgotten in this conversation. He took her left hand gently in his own and leaned down next to her ear.

If she could have registered touch at this point, Kate would have felt his breath tickle her ear as he whispered, "I love you, Kate."

His lips moved towards hers to do something he had not done since that fateful morning. Castle leaned down slightly more and delicately pressed his lips to hers in a kiss like a whisper.

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**GASP! I wonder what comes next...**


	4. Nightmares

**Wow! The last chapter got a great response! Unfortunately, the cliffhanger is no closer to being solved in this chapter :)**

**Note: This chapter occurs concurrently to the last three and changes perspective. Please also note that it could possibly be disturbing to some readers.**

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It was dark. Very dark. And something hurt. Strike that, a lot of stuff hurt. There was a lot of pain. A burning throat. Breathlessness. Tingling.

The darkness was disconcerting. There was zero visibility. It was comparable to what the inside of a closet would look like or a really deep cave. Something was wrong. Castle had turned off the lights or something. But why would that be so painful?

_Ack!_

A sharp pain coursed through the already tender body. Writhing, burning, hurting. Then it dulled. Then it felt like novocaine before dental surgery. The pain was there but dull and bearable.

It was so dark and it hurt. Wanting to escape, Kate Beckett fell asleep in hopes that whatever was happening would be resolved by Castle.

* * *

The darkness was still there. So was the pain, but now it felt better. She could breathe normally and her throat only hurt a little. Why was it still so dark? It had been the morning before she fell back to sleep. Maybe Castle had closed the drapes? Maybe it was just this dark. But where was Castle? Was she sick? She wanted to feel the heat of his body against hers in comfort.

Come to think of it, she did not feel anything at all except pain. Was she lying down or sitting up? She did not know; her body felt numb. Kate went to go press a hand to her thigh. The hand would not move. As if acting all on its own, it remained… well it remained wherever it was because she could not feel it. For all she knew it was floating around playing the piano like Thing.

This lack of control made Kate panic. She had no control over her body, she had no clue where she was or where Castle was, and she could not see. She could not see?

_Oh! _Kate thought, _my eyes must be closed_. She could not feel her eyelids but she figured she might as well try and open them.

Whether it was her or they were acting on her own accord, her eyes did open. Or so she thought. What they opened to was a sight which Kate wished she could un-see.

_Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!_

Fire. Fire and blazing rock and a river that looked to be made of blood. What was worse was that in whatever dream or reality or netherworld Kate was in, she was omniscient. She could clearly see the source of the river. Montgomery. And Esposito and Ryan and Lanie and Gates and everyone she cared about.

They were a pile of corpses. Their blood spilled out in the thick, hot, oozing river as Kate watched. She tried to move, she tried to shut her eyes, but nothing worked. She was frozen even as she felt the heat of the fire around her sear her skin.

_This has to be a nightmare,_ Kate told herself in her head. She wanted to call out. She wanted to call to Castle. He would make everything all right. He always helped her with her nightmares. The ones when she would get shot or when he would get shot. He would make her safe again.

It was just one word. Castle. All she needed to do was call out and he would come, she reassured herself. But the word would not come out. Kate could not even feel her mouth trying to form the word. She knew her attempts were useless. She had no control. She had to watch as everyone wasted away.

Kate wanted to join them. She did not want to have to watch this.

She could not call out. She had no control. And now that she could see, she was even more scared than before.

_What is going on?_ She asked herself. All she had been doing was lying with her boyfriend on a couch and now she was her. How had she gotten here in this demonic, cursed place?

Kate tried to retrace the foggy hours of the morning she thought she had been having.

She remembered waking up and that she and Castle had been lying on the couch. And then… what? Kate tried to think hard about it. The one good thing was it was taking her mind off the nightmarish hell she was in. Surprisingly, the fires around her did not touch her but she could feel them. At least, she thought she could but, if it was a dream, were they real fires?

_A knock at the door!_ Kate remembered this fact excitedly. There was a knock at the door and she got up to open it and Castle had just said her name. And at the door there was… a fruit basket? The memory was kind of cloudy and did not really make sense, but none of this did.

She did not know exactly what happened but remembered something about the fruit and a particular apple. _And the burning_, Kate thought to herself, _And then it got really dark._

Something had happened with that fruit basket. How much time had lapsed since then?

_Am I dead?_ Kate thought morbidly. Maybe the fruit basket had blown up or something. Maybe Castle could not answer her because one of them, or both of them, was dead.

The realization crashed on her like a ton of bricks. Was this where you went when you died? To your worst nightmare? This place was torture. You could not express your feelings, you had no idea where your body was because you could not feel it and you could not look down to see if it was still there. She was watching everyone in her life bleed out into a river that would around her as fire lit up the untouched places. The only person missing from this prison was the one person she cared about most of all.

Kate could not tell if not having Castle here was a blessing or a curse. If he was here, he would probably be dead or in some other form of fate worse than death while she stood by and watched. Yet, because he was not there, she was mad at him. He promised that he would be with her and watch over her. That he would _always_ be with her and watch over her. And now, when that promise meant the most to her, he was not there.

_Oh Castle_, Kate thought wretchedly, _I need you. I need to feel you. I need to feel your touch, the feeling of your lips on mine. I need to be able to taste you, to smell you. Where are you?_

Kate longed for the fire to claim her, to end her life permanently so she did not have to exist in the horrid state.

As if by silent command, the flames began to lick at her and she could feel the burning sensation spread throughout her body. _It's time_, she thought.

The pain became stronger and stronger and more pronounced until it felt like the fire was coursing through her possibly non-existent veins. If she could have screamed, Kate would have shattered mirrors.

If it was possible, the pain got worse, building and building.

And then, bliss.

Light filtered into the dark world and there was a blue-eyed angel looking down upon her.

* * *

**Wonder who the angel is...**


	5. My Angel, My Savior

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Castle pulled back from the delicate kiss he had placed on his girlfriend's lips. He hovered over her for a minute, taking in her beautiful face. His blue eyes traced the contours of her face, looking at its bone structure and fine muscle. Everything about her looked delicate like a china-doll. Her hair was bronzy and framed her face like one of those sleeping princesses. Her lips were barely parted, giving her the illusion of being asleep. And her eyes, that was Castle's favorite part of Kate. He stared into those hazel depths, more green-brown than some hazel eyes which included a lot of blue. He could just stare into them for hour, getting lost in them like he was now.

_Wait._ Kate's eyes were closed. She was in a coma. Castle did a double-take. Looking back, the pretty eyes still stared up at him, wonder filling their depths.

"Kate?" Castle barely whispered. He heard Jim jump up in back of him, obviously having heard the name of his daughter.

The pretty eyes blinked and a barely-there smile crossed the face of Kate Beckett. Castle brought a hand up to cup her cheek, his own eyes filled with unshed tears of happiness.

"Castle?" a scratchy, barely audible voice replied to the first question with its own question. The eyes were searching his face. Kate's pupils were no longer pinpoint, instead having returned to fairly normal size for the light in the room. They still were glazed with wonder.

Castle heard Jim Beckett shuffle out of the room, probably going to call the doctor to come in. He paid no attention; all of it was fixated on his girlfriend lying before him.

It could have been seconds or hours that passed by, but the doctor and Jim came back in at some point and then the blissful mood of Kate's awakening changed.

Her eyes darkened with the horror that Castle had seen right before she had slipped away. Her body suddenly stiffened and she tried to pull away- unsuccessfully since she was still very weak- shutting and opening her eyes as if she could not decide which the worse place to be in was.

Finally, she decided on shutting her eyes and still tried fruitlessly to melt into the hospital bed and get away from everything.

"No, no, no, no, _no!_" Kate cried, starting to tremble in her bed and finding some strength to bring her free left hand up to grasp the side of her head. The heart monitor began to beep faster. Something that Castle had longed for now was more of a curse than a miracle.

Dr. Shakes backed Castle away from the bed and tried to console the disoriented Kate. "Kate," he said, "Detective Beckett. Nothing's wrong. You're safe. Just open your eyes."

"_No!_" Kate shrieked loudly, "_Castle!_" She started to cry and tremble more, which broke Castle's heart because he did not know what to do. He had never seen her so helpless. Usually, it was Kate who was the strong one and always kept everything together.

In an effort to control the situation, Dr. Shakes asked for a nurse to bring a sedative to calm Kate down and let her sleep. She was still fighting the doctor by the time he gave her the sedative and at that point, Castle went up to his wretched-looking partner and put his arms around her, holding her close with promises that he would be there when she woke up.

Early in the morning, Kate woke up again. Jim had gone home for the night with promises that he would be back early and Martha had come to give Castle a change of clothes. Lanie had also stopped by when Castle called to say Kate had woken up. She reassured Castle that her friend was probably just confused and disoriented.

He really hoped Lanie's words rang true. Seeing Kate in such a terrible, pathetic state continuously broke his heart.

Currently, he was sitting next to her dozing after being up for most of the night.

Kate's eyes blinked open and stared up at the dark, blank ceiling. She took comfort in the fact that she could see it _was_ a ceiling and that she was no totally immersed in darkness like before.

_Do dead people have special places to exist in like this one?_ Kate wondered, not completely understanding where she was. She had seen an angel before. But then the angel was gone and replaced by a man whose head was on fire. _Maybe he suffered the same fate like me_.

In her thoughts, Kate began absentmindedly tapping a finger. _Oh!_ she thought, realizing she could feel the rest of her body now. She knew where her feet were and her body and she knew she was lying down. She also realized that here was a pillow under her head and some blankets over her. Kate could smell lots of floral aromas and also heard a rhythmic beeping.

The bronze-haired detective felt a lot stronger than before, too. Wanting to learn more about where she was, Kate turned her head to her left side to look around. She got startled at the sight before her which was a light underneath a door that illuminated a figure sitting next to her bed in a chair.

It looked oddly familiar but was hard to identify in the dark. What worried Kate was whether this figure was an ally or not. _Allies?_ she thought, _I don't even know where I am and I'm thinking about allies._

The figure shifted its position and sighed. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place and Kate knew who the figure was. She remembered that sigh. It brought her back to warm memories of a soft bed with a warm body pressed up against her back, holding her close.

"Castle," she whispered. The figure did not stir.

"Castle," she said a bit more forcefully, "_Rick._" The figure made one of the snorts that someone would see in a comedy when a character woke up.

"What? What?" Castle replied, shaking his head and looking around. His eyes fell on the softly smiling form of Kate, lying with her eyes curious and lighthearted, looking at him. _Were they aloud to stay together after they died?_

"Did you die too?" she asked seriously, searching him for some sort of answer.

Castle looked at her bewildered. "What? No, Kate, you're not dead," he looked around in the dark, "Do you mind if I turn a light on?"

Now it was Kate's turn to look confused. "But, I thought… Castle where are we?" she demanded, thoroughly puzzled and beginning to get scared again. _What about the river of blood and the man on fire?_

Castle had moved in the room and flicked the light switch which made Kate promptly shut her eyes. He frowned at this development and moved over to sit next to her and put his hand on hers.

"Hey, Kate, it's okay. It's just a white room with some electronic doohickeys and a bit of furniture. Oh, and a lot of flowers and balloons because everyone enjoyed spending money on you," he reassured her, "Come on sweetheart, just open your eyes for me. I'm right here."

Kate hesitated for a little before squinting one eye open. The room was definitely white and there was no fire or blood. And if Castle said it's okay, it's okay. She trusted him. She opened her eyes the rest of the way and stared up at him.

He smiled back down on her, his blue eyes twinkling for the first time in nearly a week. "Welcome back, my love," he whispered to her.

"You're the angel," Kate replied with a sense of awe, "You saved me."

* * *

**This was originally supposed to be a big chapter but I decided to break it up into two installments. At least it actually ended on a positive note!**


	6. Storytime

**Finally, another chapter done! I'm trying to get at least one done a week but my school work (generally) comes first. Luckily, today was a light day. Enjoy this installment!**

**How amazing was "Target" on Monday?! Also, for Oncers, I'm still having heart palpitations from "Manhattan."**

* * *

_You saved me._ The words still rang in Castle's ears hours later. It had only been two in the morning when Kate had told him that. Now, at eight o'clock, as the dawn light began shining brightly under the blinds, Castle was still running over the conversation in his head.

He was sitting in Kate's rather small bed, listening to her breathing as she slept. Her body curled around his, radiating warmth. Her head was resting on his chest and one arm was slung across too, holding his hand. Castle's other hand and arm were around Kate, holding her close in a little cocoon. He never wanted to let go, never wanted her to slip away from him again.

The pretty (even in this state) detective let out a cute, contented sigh which warmed his heart. How she could ever be comfortable in the tangle of wires, IV fluids, and other medical things was a miracle to him. Yet, there she was, in his arms, sleeping like a baby.

Castle just smiled and closed his eyes, enjoying this little pocket of bliss.

* * *

"You know, the hospital food isn't half bad," Kate commented to Castle, eating the breakfast she had been given.

Castle sat next to her with a disgusted look on his face. "I think it's just because you haven't eaten through your mouth in nearly a week." That earned him a glare. He smiled in response though, knowing his Kate was definitely back.

"Why hasn't anyone come in to talk to me about everything yet?" she asked him.

"They talked to you this morning and asked you how you felt and everything," Castle replied.

Kate pointed her fork at him. "Not what I mean. They haven't really explained what happened or asked me what I remember or anything."

"You weren't exactly a perfect little angel when you woke up at first," he replied, remembering her outbreak when Dr. Shakes came in. The doctor had not come to see her yet. Kate had told her boyfriend she did not really remember what happened except that she was still really disoriented and thought the doctor's hair was on fire.

As if on silent cue, there was a knock at door, which was ajar. Kate startled a little but calmed down once Castle put a hand on her back and rubbed it in soothing circles.

"You say it," he whispered to her.

"Come in," she said to the person behind the door.

Dr. Shakes, sporting a hat since castle had mentioned the "hair on fire" story, and a nurse came into the room. Castle got up from sitting next to Kate and shook hands with the doctor.

"Nice to see you again," they both said to each other. Then Dr. Shakes turned to Kate.

"I'm Dr. Gavin Shakes," he began, "How are you this morning, Kate?"

"Apparently better than I was yesterday," she replied with a hint of humor in her voice. The red-haired doctor chuckled.

"Yes, you were quite disoriented. Speaking of which, am I aloud to take off my hat? I assure you my head is perfectly fine." Kate nodded, a bit warily, and watched as Dr. Shakes removed the hat to reveal his hair.

_No fire_, she thought to herself. She let out a very muted sigh of relief which only Castle noticed.

"Now," Dr. Shakes started, settling into the chair Castle normally occupied, "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? Afterwards, you can ask me some if you'd like."

Kate looked to Castle, who nodded, and then back to her doctor. "All right."

"What is your full name?"

"Katherine Houghton Beckett."

"When were you born?"

"November seventeenth, nineteen seventy-nine."

"Where do you work?"

"The Twelfth Precinct of the NYPD, Homicide Squad."

"Where do you live?"

"595 Broome Street, New York, New York, Zip Code 10013 with my boyfriend, Richard Castle." This settled Castle's mind a little bit, he had been fearing she did not remember that.

"What is the last thing you remember before you fell unconscious?"

Kate pondered this one for a minute. "I remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing Castle in his closet. The rest is kind of foggy, I'm not sure if it was real or not."

"What is the last foggy piece you can remember?"

"I put a fruit basket on the kitchen counter?" Kate replied with a questioning tone. She looked to Castle, as did Dr. Shakes, for verification and he nodded.

"There's more though," Castle told her. Dr. Shakes gave him the signal to tell her. "We were talking about the fruit because it was an anonymous gift. I picked out an apple and gave it to you just as a joke. But, when you bit into it, you kind of convulsed and then fell. I caught you but you were gone at that point." He blinked back tears with the memory and Kate grabbed his hand.

"Was it the apple? Was something wrong with it?" she asked.

Dr. Shakes took point on that question. "The apple was dosed with Carfentanil, one of the most potent opiates. It's not used for human consumption because of those properties. In fact, all of the fruit was dosed with it. One bite from any of them would have given the same response you showed."

"Why the coma though?" Kate asked bluntly.

"We think that you just did not feel safe and your body didn't really know how to react to what just happened."

"I felt more unsafe in the coma," Kate replied. Dr. Shakes raised his eyebrows in question, as did Castle. "Um, while I was comatose, I had a dream. At first, I felt a lot of pain and couldn't see anything. And then the pain stopped but I still couldn't see and I didn't know where I was or anything. I think I fell back to sleep, or thought I did. When I woke up, the same thing happened but this time I thought my eyes were closed. I couldn't feel my body or anything, either, and I had no control. Somehow I got my vision back but…" She trailed off and started to cry, going from just slight crying to a deluge of tears and whimpers. Castle's arms were around her instantly.

"Hey," he comforted his girlfriend, "I've got you. You're safe now and you never have to see what you saw again. We just want to know so that we can help you. You're safe, Kate. You'll always be safe. I promise. I've got you."

She sniffled a little, her crying slowing and then stopping. Dr. Shakes knelt down beside her and Castle.

"If you're up for it and you want to, you can keep telling the story. But you don't have to," he told her, sympathy glistening in his brown eyes.

She wiped away from of the leftover tears. "I-I opened my eyes and saw kind of like a forest but everything was on fire. It was almost like post-apocalyptic stuff you'd see in movies. There was also a river but it was made of blood," she explained, the last statement earning a little gasp from the nurse, "The river's source was this pile of corpses. It was everyone I cared about, except Castle. And I wanted to call out for Castle but I couldn't make a sound. I kept wishing I would just die and the fire would burn me, I thought it was all real, it felt real. And then the fire did come and started to burn me but as it was, there was a light in the dark sky and it filtered on to the place I was in and then everything was gone and when I looked up I saw an angel with blue eyes. I think that was when I woke up the first time."

Dr. Shakes looked a little disturbed but calm too. He looked to Castle, something obviously passing between the two of them.

"You were the angel, weren't you, Castle?" she demanded, "You woke me up somehow. I can put the pieces together."

Castle looked at Kate with serious eyes and replied, "I don't know. You just woke up while I was standing over you."

She let go of his grip and took her hand to brush the hair away from his forehead, her fingertips coming to rest on his cheek. "I think you were," she murmured so only he could hear her.

Dr. Shakes, pretending not to have heard, stood up from his chair and smiled at the detective and the writer.

"We'll do a physical exam in a while, for now just stay rested and drink lots of fluids. I want you off that IV as soon as possible," he said.

Kate nodded and murmured thanks, but her eyes were still glued on her beautiful angel. She did not know how he did it, but she was awake because of him. It was a debt she was sure she could never repay.

"Does this count as a time for saving your life?" Castle asked, effectively ruining Kate's romantic mood, "Because that means I'm pulling ahead in the contest."

* * *

**Reviews are what I wish upon stars for. Please make the song truthful and dole some out!**


	7. Breaking Boundaries

**Wow! It's been a while! I really struggled with this chapter for some reason but I hope it's worth it! Also, how amazing was "Hunt"? Andrew Marlowe continues to dazzle the audience!**

* * *

Two weeks had gone by since the day his heart broke into billions of pieces. In those two weeks, Castle had experienced every emotion he thought possible. Love, grief, uncertainty, fear, anger, angst, sadness, surprise, hope, joy, depression, curiosity, affection, annoyance, dread, terror, panic, regret, suffering, frustration, and gratitude.

Gratitude was the oddest one on his list, but he knew he felt it. He was grateful for everything. Kate had survived being poisoned, she was safe again and she held no ill feelings against him for giving her that apple.

Almost as if reminding him she was there, Kate shifted against Castle's body. They were lying on his couch like they had done before everything happened. His arm was draped around her as they cuddled together under a blanket.

Silence.

It was perfectly quiet. Not the type of quiet that is unnerving, just peaceful. These were his favorite moments of them as a couple. Whether it was after a lust-filled night and they were wrapped in each other, naked and sweat-slicked or it was like right now, just together –clothed- with no sort of sex-driven reason; he loved their quiet moments.

Castle placed a kiss on his partner's soft, bronze hair, breathing in her cherry scent. In response, she moved her head to look up at him. A little smile crossed her lips; it was not something he saw often as Kate was struggling to be at peace with what happened to her.

She had frequent night terrors (and the bruises on both her and Castle were a painful reminder of that), now has carpophobia (the fear of fruit), and Castle knew she was a little depressed, but that mostly had to do with not being able to find the son of a bitch that poisoned her.

He tried everything to help her, from eating fruit around her to at least attempting to console her after her night terrors. Kate had slowly progressed with her carpophobia, eating most dried fruits and some berries again within the first two days after she woke up.

Her depression was also slowly lessening with the help of Castle, their families and friends. Lanie, when able to leave work, was a constant figure at Chez Castle and provided Kate with much-needed girl time. The boys also did everything they could to help, but had not come around as much. They had hit a dead end in Kate's case and frankly, felt ashamed of it. Both Castle and Kate knew they were doing everything they could and placed no blame on them, but Ryan and Esposito still took their assumed failure hard.

"What are you thinking about?" he suddenly asked his girlfriend.

Kate replied quietly, "Life. You. And I'm a little hungry."

"Why am I being categorized with your hunger?"

"The life and the you kind of go together. I am kind of hungry too, but that's just an afterthought. What are you thinking about?"

"You. Life. And I'm kind of thirsty."

"So you can categorize me with thirst, but I can't categorize you with hunger?"

"I'm thinking about you with life," Castle told her with a bit of humor in his voice.

"I'm thinking about you _and _life as one entity," Kate said, besting his response.

"What about me and your life?"

Kate corrected him. "Not my life, Castle, _our_ life. I was just thinking about how much we'd been through. I've been trying not to dwell on the… what happened, but my thoughts always come back to it."

"Your safe now," Castle assured her.

A slim-fingered hand reached up and brushed his cheek. "I know," she said quietly, "This time it wasn't about the danger. It was about how we saved each other. Nobody's ever had my back quite like you have."

"Well," Castle said in response, "Nobody has ever had _my_ back quite like you have. We make a pretty good team, Detective."

"I'm glad," Kate said, with a little yawn at the end.

"Tired?"

"Hungry! Hunger makes me sleepy. Can we please eat something?" She sounded happier than she had been in a while.

Castle chuckled. He liked when Kate let her hair down like this. At work or when she was really stressed out about a case, she would sometimes put her guard up so as not to get in a compromising situation. Castle respected that, he liked that she was so focused and driven. However, it also meant he relished their lazy time together when they were not Richard Castle, NY and Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. They were just Rick and Kate, a couple.

Kate slowly got to her feet, stretching herself out and glancing around the loft once. It had become kind of a ritual for her. She checked if anything was out of place, anything suspicious. Castle knew that perhaps it was not the healthiest habit, but if that is what it took to make her feel safe, he would let her do it for now.

He followed her up off the couch and took her hand in his, leading his girlfriend to the kitchen where she sat down on a stool while he got out fixings for a snack: cheese, crackers, and some grapes. They were still working on grapes as fruit, particularly red grapes (she had tried to eat one but spit it out). Therefore, he pulled out only red grapes from the fruit bin and placed them on the plate next to the cheese and crackers. The one reason he pulled out red grapes was because he knew she could eat the green ones, the other reason was because he had no green ones.

Castle slid the plate into the middle of the counter and stood on the side opposite Kate. Making the first move, he took a red grape from the vine and popped it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing it.

Eyeing him, Kate put a cracker and cheese together and ate that instead. It tasted nice, but dry and Castle had not given them any water.

"Didn't you say you were thirsty?" she asked him.

"Grapes make up for it," he replied, "The red ones are par-tic-u-lar-ly juicy." He ate another one and added a little "mm" in for emphasis.

"This isn't funny, Castle," Kate said, knowing she needed to face her fear but not really wanting to and angry at Castle just because he was there.

He walked over to her side and stood behind her, off to her right. He took his right hand and placed it on her wrist.

"Just try it for me," he whispered, his breath stirring her hair as his lips drifted ever so close to her ear.

Kate bit her bottom lip and hesitated for a minute. Her face frowned. It seemed like forever, but, with Castle's hand there the whole time, she reached to the plate and picked a red grape from the vine. Like a little kid trying something for the first time, she stared at the little grape for a while. Then she sniffed at it. It smelled normal, she supposed. Kate poked out her tongue and licked it. It tasted normal, she guessed. She bit off a really small piece of the grape and let the little piece sit on her tongue for a while. The detective had forgotten how much she liked grapes. The flavor was amazing.

After a few moments, she swallowed the little piece and sat there for a little, waiting to see if she stayed in the loft or if everything disappeared and she was in the bad place again.

Nothing happened.

In a sheer act of bravery and courage, Kate took the rest of the grape in her mouth, and chewed, savoring the flavor. Then she swallowed and felt it slide down her throat. Then she looked at Castle and smiled. She was still safe.

"Well done," he told her.

At the same moment, he leaned down and she stretched up. Their lips met in a delicate kiss that expressed all the gratitude, passion, and love they could fit in that tiny moment.

"Castle?" Kate asked after the broke apart.

"Yeah?"

"Can you move the grapes closer? I can't reach them that well."

* * *

**Kind of cute, right? I think the next chapter will be a about conquering another problem too. I'm jealous of Kate, she faces her fears so readily. Wish I could!**

**Reviews are welcome with open arms, cookies, and milk (or water if you can't stand milk like me!)!**


	8. Simplicity and Complexity

**Oh dear! I've been terrible with updating recently! But here is the next chapter! This one was actually quite a beast to write (perhaps it's these Castle-less Mondays we've been having). Hope you like it!**

* * *

Blood-curdling was not even close to the description of the noise that ripped through the dark bedroom at around one o'clock in the morning. It was more chilling than the horrifyingly high-pitched scream from the Ringwraiths in _The_ _Lord of the Rings_ movies and much more realistic than the screams in old horror movies. To Castle, it was the most ear-splitting, scary, nightmarish noise he had ever heard.

He jumped bolt-upright in the bed, instantly awake without a lick of sleep still fogging his mind. Kate was next to him, looking straight at him but straight through him at the same time. One of her hands was tangled in the bed sheets and she was trying, unsuccessfully, to tug it free. The whites of her eyes showed and the normally pretty orbs now looked ghostly and haunted to Castle. He knew she did not actually know he was there.

Looking closer, he could tell she was sweat-slicked and breathing very heavily. She let out another chilling scream which made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. This was the worst night yet.

"Kate," he tried, attempting to console her. The doctors told him it was no good to console her, but it made him feel better to try. They said to just let it happen and make sure she did not hurt herself in the process. Easier said than done.

_At least tonight she's staying seated in bed_, Castle thought to himself. There had been other nights where she lunged at him or away from him, tumbling onto the floor. Once she ran out of the room but fell over the corner of the area rug in his office and did not make it that far. Castle repeatedly thanked the Universe that they slept on the first floor.

He moved a hand to reach out and curl his hand gently around her arm. "Kate, wake up, honey, please," he pleaded softly.

Once his fingers came in contact with her skin, Kate went off the deep end. A third scream tore from her chest like a wolf's vicious howl and she tried to kick out at him, nailing him in the knee (for sitting in bed in the midst of a night terror, she could still _really_ kick and aim well). Then, abandoning her quest to free her hand, she tried to move off the bed erratically and tumbled off the side in the process.

Her hand freed and still in the dream state, she stood up, eyes looking as terrified as ever and she was whimpering and crying. Castle, gaining his composure back after the kick, moved to Kate's side of the bed and tried to walk towards her.

"Please wake up for me, Kate," he asked, wishing she would just open her eyes (well, gain her normal vision back) and see that she was safe.

Unfortunately, his voice only further exacerbated whatever she was feeling and seeing. No spatial awareness, she leapt back, knocking into their dresser with a thud. One of the wooden drawers was knocked open and her bare arm caught on its corner as she slid down the front surface.

Subdued, but also bleeding, Castle was able to gather the whimpering, shivering woman up in his arms and carry her to the bathroom. He sat her on the closed toilet and a pang of sympathy mixed with anger cut through him. How awful it was that Kate Beckett, NYPD Detective Extraordinaire, was reduced to this? Right there, Castle vowed that whoever did this would pay dearly for it. Fans could come after him, but after Kate? That happened once and he shot the guy's hand (it was _supposed_ to be his head). This one was no different.

"I promise, Kate," he whispered to the trembling mess, "I promise I'll live up to being your angel."

* * *

She woke up in bed alone, eyes adjusting to the sunlight streaming in the room. Castle's side of the bed was messed up, but still faintly warm. There were noises of cooking coming from the kitchen and tantalizing smells wafting in as well.

Kate tried to prop herself up into sitting position so she could stretch out, something she did every morning. However, propping herself up proved difficult this morning when a sharp stab of pain coursed through her body from her left arm.

"Ah!" she grimaced, scrunching up her face. She looked down to examine her arm and saw it wrapped in white gauze, a bloodstain very faint underneath the layers.

_What the hell?_ Kate thought to herself.

After she had stretched out and got out of bed, examining herself for any more injuries and finding that her back was a little bruised, Kate looked around the room for more clues to her mysterious bloody arm. As she made her way towards the bathroom, she saw several specks of blood sprinkled on the carpet by the dresser and a little trail towards the bathroom.

In the bathroom, the remnants of a medical excursion were in the bin.

_What did I do this time?_ Kate groaned to herself inwardly. At least she knew Castle was not incapacitated since she was pretty sure he was the one making breakfast.

After finishing up her bathroom activities —except changing her dressing because she was scared to look at the damage— Kate made her way out into the kitchen.

She stopped in the doorway to Castle's study, watching her lovely boyfriend from afar as he prepared their morning meal. She admired everything about him and in that moment felt really blessed for what he was doing and had done (especially whatever happened last night). It was a really sudden wave of emotion but got her thinking that she really did not deserve someone as extraordinary as he was. How she ever got to this point in her life is quite an amazing fairytale and she really hoped it had a happy ending.

At that moment, Castle looked up and saw Kate in the doorway. He smiled his dazzling smile, making her feel warm despite the cool temperature in the house. Even now, she still got butterflies in her stomach.

Kate walked over to him and he moved to the other side of the counter to greet her after turning the stove off. Immediately, as soon as they were close enough, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a gentle embrace. Kate melted into his form and sighed contently.

"How are you this morning?" Castle asked her with a concerned face once they had pulled back to see each other.

"What happened last night?" Kate responded, not bothering to tiptoe around the elephant in the room.

Castle's eyes were downcast. "You had another night terror."

"Worse than last time?"

"Kate, you ran fell off the bed and ran into a dresser," Castle replied.

She nodded. "Right, guess that's where the gauze and the blood trail came from."

"This one scared me," Castle confessed, "More than the others did."

Kate dropped her arms to her sides. "I can't just turn them off, Castle!" she snapped, more frustrated with herself than with him. She left him and walked over to the couch, sitting down and burying her head in her hands.

"Hey," Castle said, raising his hands up. He walked over to her and put a hand on her back, rubbing it in soft circles. "I didn't say you could. We're working on it, Kate, that's all that matters."

She looked up at him, her hazel gaze penetrating him like X-Ray vision. No comeback came out of her mouth and when she spoke, she sounded defeated.

"I just _wish_ I could remember something! It's so… depressing to have you have to tell me all of this and I can't even remember what I did!" she replied, balling up her hands in fists.

Castle sat down next to her. "Then we'll just keep working on it and we'll talk to the doctor about it again next week," he told her confidently, "They _have_ gotten less frequent."

"But the ones I have are worse than before. Everything else that happened because of me eating that stupid piece of fruit is simple or near-simple. I'm moody because I can't do what I normally do and my case is still open. I'm tired because I can't sleep well at night. I'm difficult with fruit because of what happened and I'm scared it will happen again. But I don't even know what my night terrors are about! How can I even begin to work on fixing something I don't even realize is happening?" Kate asked.

Castle shrugged. "I really, really wish I knew, Kate."

She put everything so simply as if there was nothing to it. The situation was so complex and yet she could just put it into straightforward, easy terms that even a goldfish or a squirrel that hides behind a moving tire could understand.

He put a hand on her knee. "Let's just forget about it for now and have breakfast," Castle suggested. He knew they should talk about this stuff more, they should talk about everything more, but he wanted Kate to be happy. All he wanted was her happiness. And if that meant going slowly with her healing process, he would do just that.

Kate looked at him and smiled.

"What are we having?"

"Fruit salad and apple juice," Castle responded with a deadpan expression.

"Ha. Ha. Don't push it, Rick," Kate replied, getting up off the couch and strolling over to the counter to examine what they were actually having for breakfast.

The writer smiled, glad that they were able to joke about her aversion to fruit at this point. It had become a little personal joke between them.

"Well there are blueberry pancakes," Castle told her.

"Now that, I can deal with," she said, beginning to put a couple pancakes on her plate along with some bacon that was also present.

He smiled and got up to help himself to some as well, stealing Kate's bacon from her plate instead of getting his own.

"Get off chubsy-wubsy!" she chastised him.

He pouted and walked off solemnly to sit at the kitchen table and eat his pancakes sadly.

Kate sauntered over, put her plate down next to his, and slid some of her bacon over to him.

"You're such a baby, Castle," she commented.

"And it comes in handy!" he responded, eating some of it.

Kate laughed and proceeded to eat her own portion. For a moment, she forgot what was wrong in her life and just concentrated on her man-child boyfriend and kidnapping some of his pancakes.

* * *

**Reviews are always welcome with open arms and apples (er... pears?) so please take part in writing them!**


	9. Doubtful

**Hello dear readers! Sorry about my lack of updates, I had a difficult time deciding this chapter's sub-plot. After this one, Kate will finally be back at work and ready to crack down on the villain(s) that poisoned her! A little angsty, but hope you like it!**

* * *

Almost the entire loft was blanketed in darkness. Besides the normal sounds of appliances, the only other sound Castle could hear was the tapping of his own fingers on his keyboard. It was nearing the wee hours of the morning but inspiration had struck, and Castle could not just "turn it off" and go back to sleep.

He had actually been having a lot of sleepless nights recently. Most of them were from the thoughts that created his anxiety these days. Castle had started to worry less about Kate. She had passed her psych evaluation and was going back to work tomorrow. Her night terrors had stopped being a common occurrence, on average happening probably once a week and were not nearly as severe since the one that nearly broke his kneecap.

No, his anxiety was not coming from Kate as much. It was coming from himself. Was he just playing himself when he thought that he could just pop the biggest question of their life to her? He never loved _anyone_ more (except Alexis, but that's different) than he loved the woman sleeping in the room next to his study. The days when she was comatose were the worst days of his life. But it brought something to light: he was dangerous for her.

He always thought that she was the dangerous one. Following Kate around could result in physical, emotional, or mental harm, or death. But being with Castle? That could result in the same things. He never had really thought about it before but whenever you turn on the news, there it is: a crazy stalker-turned-murderer (or almost-murderer). As if Kate did not have enough on her plate, now she had to worry about _his_ occupational hazards too? He could never wish that on someone, especially her.

The inner turmoil going on was making Castle a little dizzy. It was like those two little beings that stood on cartoon characters' shoulders, the angel and the devil. One side of him said that it would do more harm than good to let her go. The other said she had enough on her plate without him.

The writer massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming on.

"Castle?" a tired, but still beautiful, voice whispered and broke his thoughts.

He looked up and gave a little half smile in the dark, then turned on the desk lamp. Kate did not smile. In fact, her eyes were a little worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, the smile fading away. He motioned for her to sit down on his lap, and when she did he pulled her in for a tight embrace.

"You're really feeling the stress, aren't you?" Kate asked him bluntly.

Not one to beat around the bush with her anymore, he replied, "Yeah, I am." She cocked her head, urging out more information.

"Kate, I just don't know if I can do this to you any more," Castle confessed.

"Do _what_ to me, Castle?" she queried, pulling back from the embrace a little.

Castle shrugged. "Being with you… it isn't fair to you. I drag all my 'best-selling novelist' crap along and look where it got us. It hurt you. You were just another average person in New York who happened to have a dangerous job. But me, I added to that. I just- I can't put you through this anymore."

The words coming out of his mouth hit Kate. Hard. He was… he was… was he trying to break up with her?

"Are you-" her voice cracked, "Are you trying to tell me you don't want to be with me any more? Rick?"

"I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Kate stood up before he could say any more, her sadness spilling over into hurt and also a bit of anger and frustration.

"After _everything_ we've been through," she exclaimed roughly, "you're going to tell me _now_ that you think it's not a good idea we be together. _Now_, Rick, _now_?"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she paced in front of him. Castle opened his mouth to say something but Kate cut him off.

"You-you don't think I know you come with baggage? That I've seen what happens with your crazy fans? Castle, we've known each other for seven _years_, I'm not an idiot. I've always said these kinds of things to you and you never take them seriously. You think that I'm seriously going to agree and say we shouldn't be together just because one of your crazy fans poisoned me?" Now her voice was elevated. Her face was wet from the tears and she was visibly shaking with emotion. How could he possibly think of saying this to her now?

"If I wanted to leave, Rick, I would have left a long time ago. But I don't. So save me your speech," she leaned over his desk and looked him square in the eye with those burning hazel orbs that were windows to her soul, "We're in this together. I am never walking out. _You're_ my one and done, and getting poisoned is a lot less pain than having my heart torn out and never put back together. Because that's what will happen, if you leave me right now."

Kate's voice trembled at the end and fresh tears began rolling down her cheeks. She did not move, she just slumped in front of the desk and buried her head in her hands, crying in soft sobs.

Finally able to unfreeze from his spot, Castle got up and walked to the other side of the desk. His eyes were stinging from the tears that threatened to fall after what Kate said. He knew they loved each other, that they were meant to be together, but Kate's sudden pre-dawn speech had made it finally all sink in. They were in this together, no matter the costs.

He put a hand on his girlfriend's shaking shoulder and she looked up at him. Castle offered his hand, and Kate took it, standing up and instantly molding her body to his. She was still crying and his nightshirt was starting to dampen.

Holding her tightly, Castle rocked them back and fourth a little.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he whispered in her hair, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Kate looked up at him, face glistening with tears. "Don't ever leave me, Castle. Just don't ever leave me."

"I won't," he told her, his voice filled with love, "I'll never leave you. I promise."

They stood like that for a while, just listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Then, when Kate started to feel a bit weightier as she tired, Castle picked her up and laid her down in their bed. He slid in beside her, and she moved right next to him. Castle pulled her in with his arms and held her close as they fell asleep together. So close, it was hard to tell where one body started and the other ended.

* * *

**Hundreth episode this week :D**


	10. The Most Powerful Magic

**Hello lovely readers! This is my longest chapter yet and also one of my favorites! It also marks the first appearance of the lovely Captain Gates who unknowingly plays a major role in the subplot.**

* * *

Familiar sounds are always a comforting thing. When you get back in a place you know, the sounds are one of the signals that make it all truly real. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks, Kate had grown much more accustomed to the sounds of the loft than any where else. The Twelfth Precinct now sounded foreign, alien. It made her ears sting whenever she heard a new sound.

Her first day back, and she could not even stand the everyday sounds? Kate scolded herself for being so immature. Cops were better than this. Nevertheless, around eleven in the morning, she found herself taking refuge in a quiet break room.

It was so difficult to think anywhere else and her affinity to the sounds made her irritable around her coworkers. Esposito and Ryan had caught a murder but did not even suggest she take part in it, whether it was out of courtesy or avoidance was unknown. Everyone else just seemed to avoid her; even Lanie had not called to ask her how she was today. Was she really being that bitter and difficult?

What Kate really wanted was Castle, but that was not going to happen today. This morning he asked if she wanted him to come with her on her first day back, and she said no. The events of last night were too engraved in her mind. He had wanted to leave her…for her own good? It still made no sense to her. Either way, she had told him not to come today because she wanted to face it on her own. Now, she regretted that decision more than anything.

Kate lay her head down on the table and let out a sigh. How could one little apple cause so much to happen?

It was such a simple fruit, so commonplace. Apples were nothing special. Heck, pears were pretty much like apples' fraternal twins. An apple did not deserve the place of power that her poisoned one had. It didn't deserve to make catastrophic events happen and nearly ruin people's lives. It was just a stupid piece of fruit. Stupid pieces of fruit should not get police investigations.

Clicking heels followed by a sharp "Detective Beckett?" broke Kate from her angry thoughts. She lifted her head up to look into the face of one Captain Gates.

She did not even have the energy to make up an excuse for sitting around in the break room so she just looked blankly at her Captain.

"Care to explain why you're sleeping in the job, Detective?" Gates asked her.

"Sorry, Sir," Kate replied, "I just couldn't think out there."

The next words that came out of the Captain's mouth startled her. "And you thought that isolating yourself further would help your problems?"

"Pardon me, Sir?" Kate asked, near-stunned that Gates saw right through her.

The Captain sat down at the table next to her. "Detective, it's your first day back at work and you're miserable. But hiding away won't help you feel any better. Why didn't you go to that crime scene with Detectives Ryan and Esposito?"

"They didn't even ask if I wanted to," she replied, finding it oddly easy and comforting to talk to Gates. They had never had the relationship that Kate had had with Montgomery (a familiar ache in her heart hit at that thought), but Kate still respected and admired Gates.

"Any idea why?" her captain inquired.

Kate replied, "I haven't exactly been the best coworker today. I just feel really out of place! Everything that I've been working on seemed to crumble down between last night and this morning, between Castle and work and being ready to come back to do my job."

Gates put a hand on Kate's shoulder out of sympathy. When she spoke, her voice was softer and more friend-like than ever before. It sounded as if she were more like "Victoria" instead of "Captain" or "Sir."

"Detective, why don't you go home for one more day? Figure everything out, and then come back tomorrow with a fresh head ready to do your job. I want your case closed already and you and Mr. Castle will know how to do that best."

"I thought you didn't like Detectives working on their own cases?"

"This is the once and only time I'll make that exception," Gates said with a smile. She stood up and offered Kate a hand which she took gratefully.

"Thank you, Sir," Kate said quietly.

"In times like this, I feel more like Victoria," she replied. Soon Victoria was once again replaced by Iron Gates. "Bright and early tomorrow, Detective Beckett."

She left the room with those clicking heels and Kate could not help but smile.

-Line Break-

Castle was sitting on his couch, staring at nothing. He had tried to write and found absolutely no inspiration. Having a bit of a spat with Kate made it near impossible for him to do anything. He missed her and he knew that his early morning apology last night had done no good. She still thought he was being wishy-washy about being her "always" and staying with her.

Then he heard it. The door opened and someone walked in. Castle did not look to see who it was, but the voice gave it away. That beautiful, beautiful voice that was the only music who ever wanted to listen to if he had the choice.

"Castle?" the voice called before realizing the object of her call was right in front of her.

Castle got up and turned to look at her. Kate, _his _Kate, was staring at him with concern because he obviously did not look normally just staring at the ceiling without doing anything.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied, a faint smile gracing her lips as she realized that maybe, just maybe they would be okay.

It all happened so fast but suddenly, before she even had a chance to put her things down, she was enveloped by his arms in such a tender hug that it brought her to tears. She dropped her things and returned the embrace, crying softly on his shoulder for no apparent reason.

Castle pulled back when he felt his shirt dampen. Still holding her close, he studied her face as little shiny droplets slid down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he asked her quietly.

Kate shook her head. "I don't know. I just love you so much and I missed you."

"I missed you too," he told her.

"I don't like fighting, Castle," she said, "I don't ever want to re-live the scenes of last night. Never again." She buried her face on his chest, breathing in his scent and relishing in his warmth and closeness to her.

"Shh," Castle reassured her, "You never will again. That thought will never cross my mind again. I'll be right here with you for the rest of our lives. For _always_."

Kate looked up at him at the last words. "Promise?"

"I can do even better than that," he told her, "Just wait right there and don't move."

He let go and Kate involuntarily protested with a slight whimper. Was she needy or what?

Castle went into their bedroom and Kate watched with fascination. What was he doing?

"Castle, it's not like you need to swear on Boba Fett or anything, I believe you," Kate told him, realizing he might be taking this a little too far. She believed his every word; she needed nothing else but a verbal promise.

Kate heard some stuff fall over and then flapping feet as Castle raced back out into the living room, his one hand behind his back. She cocked her head in inquiry.

"Just go with it," he told her. He moved dangerously close to her so that his breath swirled tickled her lips. She could nearly taste him.

"Close your eyes," he whispered to her. Kate smiled (gorgeously, according to Castle) and did as she was told, hiding those hazel orbs. Her smile faded though as memories of her time in that, what they deemed as "the Netherworld," floated back to her. What if she opened her eyes and that was what she saw? What if Castle was gone? _But he promised_, Kate reasoned. She sucked up the courage to open her eyes when she was told or when too much time had passed.

Only then did her intuition tell her that Castle was no longer standing directly in front of her. She could feel the heat of him anymore. This made Kate panic a little internally, but she soothed herself with Castle's promise over and over.

"Okay," a disembodied voice said that sounded much like Castle's, "Open your eyes."

Kate hesitated for a moment, scrunching up her face in thought and a little fear. Castle realized this as he watched her and realized that even though she had passed her psych evaluation, she still had some of the scars left over from her poisoning.

"Kate, it's okay, just open your eyes for me, please?" Castle reassured her.

She nodded, summoned up her courage, and opened her eyes. No fire, no river of blood, just the loft and...

Kate looked down in front of her to see Castle kneeling before her holding a little box and looking up at her, his eyes shining in love and adoration.

"Castle?" she gasped, taking a step back, "Is this…?"

"It's my promise to you, Kate. Until now, I didn't know how to put it into words but now I do. So here it goes:

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, from the moment I first laid eyes on you I knew you were special. Not just when you took me in for questioning, I remember when you got one of your books signed by me. Ever since then, you've become even more special every day. I love learning everything there is about you and seeing you first thing in the morning and right before I go to sleep are the best moments of my life. I know you said you don't believe in magic, but if ever there was something close to magic, this is it. You and me. I love you more than I could ever put into words, so hopefully actions will suffice. Will you do me the absolute honor of becoming my wife? Because I want to keep trying for magic every single day with you." He flipped open the box to reveal a very simple ring. A center diamond was situated with a symmetrical design on either side that looked like the frame of an old window on a castle or church. It was indescribable.

There were tears in Kate's eyes again. She just heard the most beautiful words in the universe and they were directed at her. From this man, this gorgeous, gorgeous man who she did not deserve but still had in her life. She could not speak; she was too overcome with emotion. Instead, Kate just nodded. She nodded and nodded, a smile crossing her face.

"You will?" Castle asked rhetorically trying to wrap his head around it, a smile of his own coming to light. They could have brightened up the whole world together.

He stood up and closed the gap between them, bringing Kate in for a long and tender kiss that did not end until they both needed air. When they broke apart, the first thing Castle did was take Kate's left hand and slip the ring onto her finger. It fell right into place, looking perfectly at home there.

Kate looked at it for a minute and then back at Castle, her smile was undoubtedly her most memorable feature for this occasion. She had not smiled this much since before the poisoning.

"We're getting married," he told her, kissing her again and holding her tight to him.

Kate laughed a little, loving the sound of those words.

"You were wrong about one thing in your proposal though," she told him.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," she said looking up at him, "I do believe in magic. It's you and me. True love. That's the most powerful magic in the world."

* * *

**Don't worry! it's not finished yet but I'd love to hear what you think of it so far!**

**Also, in the last two chapters I've made references to Once Upon A Time and The Book of Mormon (the musical), I'd love to see if you could find them (for a prize of virtual pears) :]**


	11. Ring, Ring

**FINALLY! A new chapter is here. Sorry for the extremely long wait, I'll try to be more punctual next time. This chapter is not my favorite, but I hope you all still enjoy it!**

**How awesome was "Still"?!**

* * *

It was their little secret. The tiny, new detail that had found its niche on Kate's left ring finger was a secret to everyone in the world except for the two bare lovers that lay in bed, wrapped around each other as sunlight pooled in through their bedroom window and illuminated the scene in a golden haze.

The moment was a perfect little bubble in which nothing but the two of them mattered. Castle was softly drawing patterns on his fiancée's back, writing the same word over and over again. "Always, always, always."

Kate's head was nestled in the crook of his neck; her arms hugged his body to keep him close. She smiled into his bare skin when she realized the word he was writing. There was no reason to move, she just let him do what he did best and relaxed.

Then her phone's alarm went off and the delicate little bubble burst. Kate lifted her head and rolled away from Castle to turn the alarm off with a sigh.

"Back to the real world," Castle whispered lovingly, despite the context of the words.

"But now I'm cold," she complained, flopping back on the pillows.

He chuckled and rolled out of bed, stood up and stretched out his back. "I'll make us some breakfast, why don't you shower?" he suggested. Castle leaned down to Kate and kissed her sweetly, but before she could deepen the kiss, he was gone, grabbing some clothes on the way out.

Kate sighed and lifted her left hand up, staring at the ring with disbelieving eyes. It was really happening; they were really starting on forever. She smiled to herself at this piece of knowledge as she got out of bed, a cold rush of air hitting her naked body. Shivering, she made her way to the shower to freshen up for the work day.

* * *

At eight thirty, the newly engaged couple set off to the Twelfth Precinct, opting to walk (it was a _walk_) but not killer (no pun intended). They held hands, which they did not normally do because of paparazzi photos and angry fans recognizing them on the street. Which meant that today, it was an especially big deal because of the recent events surrounding what they still believed was a fan of Castle's books. Nevertheless, about two blocks into their walk, Kate grabbed Castle's hand and did not let go.

"And you're certain about keeping it on?" Castle asked her once they were in the elevator on their way up to Homicide.

"It's not like people won't figure it out eventually," she replied. He looked at her with a small smile on his face and she looked back with a confused look. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Castle shrugged and replied, "It's nothing. Just- you're always much more controlling and organized than this. It's nice to see you so relaxed and flow-y."

"Flow-y? Really Castle? Surely a writer could do better than that," Kate remarked dryly.

"Fine then, I guess a more correct word –but definitely not the right connotation- would be loose. You just seem totally comfortable with letting things pan out however they please right now. It's a refreshing change."

"Maybe I've just seen the light, or, the sparkle," Kate replied with a small smirk.

"Shameless," he told her in mock-disapproval with her reply being a chuckle.

In keeping with a tradition they started three years ago, Kate turned to her partner as the elevator neared its stop at the Homicide floor. She smiled as the writer wrapped his arms around her slender waist and pulled her in for a slow kiss. He let go and backed a pace away when the elevator stopped moving.

The tradition had started because the couple could not be together at work. It was a promise for what was to come later in the day. Now, however, it was different. Everyone knew they were together, but Kate still sought out that pre-work kiss. It was a reassurance that Castle was still with her, and it made her feel safe before she stepped into the violent world of her job.

Dinging, the elevator broke the moment and they took that step over the little crack in the floor, crossing from their little world into the rest of the world's domain. This time was different though; this time they entered as engaged to be married. Now, all they had to do was wait for the rest of the world to figure out something had changed.

* * *

The murder the boys had caught the day before was the easiest Jack-shot-Jill-over-Bill they had ever had ("And another one for the Twelfth Precinct closure rate!" Esposito had remarked). By eleven, the confession had been signed and the case closed with all loose ends tied up.

Waiting for Ryan and Esposito to get back from escorting the killer downtown, Kate and Castle had spread out her case file in the break room and were pouring over it again and again. Every so often, one of them would glance at the engagement ring on Kate's slender finger and then look up and smile at the other.

First to break the comfortable silence, Kate commented, "I'm surprised nobody has noticed yet."

"Well," Castle replied, "There are a lot of other things they're focused on right now."

"Detectives should notice when details are changed," she told him.

Castle shrugged, but then thought about the comment Kate had made a little more. He turned to her with an impish grin on his face and twinkling eyes. Kate looked up at him and made a face.

"What?" she asked in usual Beckett-fashion.

"You want them to point it out! You want them to notice!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"So what if I do? I'm just happy about it, that's all. I want everyone to know."

"Then why don't you tell them?"

"I don't know, I just, want them to figure it out. Is that wrong?"

He smiled again. "It's fine, it's just refreshing for you to want people to notice something about your personal life without you revealing it on your clock, when you want it. I like when you let things unfold. You're doing that a lot today."

Kate smiled back at him. "Well, Castle, maybe it was just time for a change."

"And how does it feel?" he inquired.

She paused for a second and then replied, "Frustrating! How long does it take to notice someone is wearing a new engagement ring?"

Another voice interrupted the conversation. "_Engagement ring_?" Esposito repeated, coming into the break room with Ryan close behind.

Kate squared her shoulders and said, "Yes, Esposito, engagement ring."

"Whose engagement ring?" Ryan asked. The two of them actually looked bewildered and Kate could not believe it. Screw letting things unfold; she was going to tell them, and then Lanie, and Captain Gates, and her Dad, and everyone else important. And then she was going to show that son-of-a-bitch poisoner that she could re-build no matter how many apples he (or she) threw at her.

"_Mine_!" Kate told them (a little louder than intended), her voice showing its exasperation that nobody had figured it out yet. She surprised herself with her tone. _I never realized being engaged was this exciting_, she thought to herself.

It took but a second for Esposito and Ryan to put it together, but before they could say anything, Captain Gates poked her head in the doorway of the break room.

"Detective Beckett," she addressed, "Inside voice, please." The twinkle in her eye gave away that she was only joking and the other four people realized that she had probably heard more of the conversation than just the last line.

Kate smiled slightly, her face blushing a light hue of pink as she ducked her head.

"Congratulations," the Captain said warmly, eyeing the ring on her head Detective's left hand.

"Yeah, Beckett- and Castle," Esposito conceded happily, "Way to go!" Castle moved to wrap his arm around Kate's waist, beaming brighter than the sun.

"Wait," Ryan told them.

Kate and Castle looked at him intently. Did he object to them getting married? What?

"How are we going to tell the difference between you two after you get married? We can't call you both 'Castle,'" Ryan asked, completely serious.

Castle shrugged and suggested, "Girl Castle and Boy Castle?"

The others laughed at his joke and eventually Ryan did too. But soon, the atmosphere of laughter dissipated and it was back to more melancholy topics.

"Well, best get started on this case, everyone," Gates commanded lightly, straightening out her suit jacket.

"Yes, Sir," all replied. The clicking of heels gave warning that the Captain was once again on the move.

"We'll get a murder board in here," Esposito offered as he and Ryan started out of the room.

Kate nodded. "Thank you!"

Castle settled down in a chair with a sigh and Kate turned to him and smiled.

"You know," he remarked to her, "Girl Castle might not work for you."

"Why?" she asked her fiancé.

"When we have kids, for nine months we'd have to call you GirlGirl Castle or GirlBoy Castle," he joked.

She giggled and playfully slapped his arm. Only as they started mulling over the files once more did she realize what he had really said to her. He had said _when_. And if that was not optimism at its best, Kate did not know what was.

_When_. That word was not so scary. In fact, Kate was excited for the time _when_ it was true.

* * *

**Oooh! Reviews are welcome, I want to hear your opinions!**


	12. The Missing Link

**So it's been a while (I was getting over Watershed), but here's the next chapter! Enjoy as usual!**

**A/N: Officially, this story has become AU because of recent events**

* * *

They had been reading and re-reading case notes for an eternity. Kate's eyes were beginning to sting and tear from all the reading she was doing. _This _isn't_ what homicide detectives do_, she thought to herself, _we shouldn't have to do this_.

It was probably the most boring day they had ever had. On top of that, Kate was getting really pissed that she had to read about _herself_. She wondered if this was how Castle felt when he and Paula went on their monthly "damage control" read to see if anything too salacious was floating around in the land of media.

Kate went to remark that they should call it a day when Castle's phone rang. The loud noise made everyone jump since they had been sitting in interminable silence.

"Sorry," he said, getting up and grabbing his phone from the conference table. Kate got a look at the caller ID, which read "Alex Conrad."

Esposito raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What was that about?" he asked Kate.

"How should I know?" she snapped. Immediately, her face softened and she added, "Sorry, Espo, long day."

He gave her a gentle smile. "Apology accepted. I probably would've done the same." Ryan nodded in agreement with his partner.

Getting up and stretching, Kate sighed saying, "Maybe it's time we call it a day." But before the boys got a word in, Castle threw open the door again, still on the phone.

"I think I got something," he told them, his voice quivering. Returning his attention to the phone call, he said, "Okay. We've got it. I'll call you back later. Tell Elaine to feel better."

It was Ryan's turn to raise his eyebrows questioningly. "What's up, Castle?" he asked. Kate and Esposito leaned in a bit, obviously intent on hearing what Castle had to say.

"Alex Conrad's girlfriend was hospitalized. Poisoning from a box of chocolates she received. She thought they were from Alex and he wasn't home, so she took one and by the time he got home, she was saying she felt kind of funny from those chocolates he gave her. Long story short-"

"The chocolates were poisoned like my fruit in a smaller dosage and Alex knew what happened to me so he called 9-1-1," Kate supplied.

"She was drifting out of consciousness when they got to the hospital and they did all the necessary procedures and tested the chocolates. Apparently the poison was in a much, much smaller dose than yours was, but the same poison," he added.

"Same M.O.," Kate breathed, studying nothing for a second before turning back to Castle, "Do you think there were other attacks like this?"

"I'm willing to call and find out."

"Do it," she said, then turning to Ryan and Esposito, "You two call the precinct investigating Elaine's poisoning so we can coordinate or they can hand over the case."

Before the person castle was calling picked up, he reached over and rubbed Kate's shoulder. "We've got this guy," he said to her happily.

* * *

One other writer for Black Pawn had a wife who had been poisoned. It was a fruit basket just like Kate's and the woman had bit into pear. Luckily, the poison dose was again much lower than Kate's had been. The woman, Gemma Fords (wife of mystery author, Martin Fords), had been hospitalized due to what she thought was a particularly rough bout of food poisoning. It had been surprising to learn that she had a highly potent opioid in her body which was causing the apparent food poisoning. The pear was tested in order to make sure that was what caused it and the results came up positive.

So now, Kate's picture along with the other two women's hung on a board normally used for murder. Along with it was her relationship to Castle and a bunch of details about that fateful day in their kitchen. She wanted to stay and do some more work. She wanted to catch the bastard who did this to her and Elaine and Gemma. But she did not stay. At eight thirty, Castle put a hand on her shoulder and quietly said that it was time to leave.

She wanted to protest, to tell him that she _had_ to finish this and find the guy. As her fiancé led her into the elevator and then out on the street, she tugged his hand weakly, trying to stop him from taking her home.

As they were in the taxi, Kate's eyelids barely staying open, she murmured, "I need to keep looking."

When they got to the loft, she was completely out. Protests long forgotten, she did not even stir when Castle picked her up and carried her through the lobby, into the elevator, and eventually into their apartment.

He made his way to their bedroom and softly deposited her on their bed. Only when Castle had finished undressing her and started on himself did she stir.

"C-castle?" she murmured.

"Right here," he told her, putting on his pants and coming to the side of the bed she was laying on.

"When did you take me home and change my clothes?" she asked dazedly.

Castle laughed. "Don't worry about it, Kate."

She smiled and sighed tiredly. "What about the case?"

"Don't worry about that either, Kate. Not right now." He kissed her sweetly and then went and got in on the other side of the bed.

The couple instinctively found each other, and eventually ended up tangled together with no guessing where one body began and the other ended.

"Castle?" Kate whispered some time in the early hours of the morning. "Hmm?" he responded, waking up almost immediately.

"I had a nightmare," she told him.

He turned on his side to look at her. The detective's eyes were still glazed with sleep, but she looked genuinely worried by the nightmare. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just need to ask you a question about it," she told him.

"Anything."

"Do you really want our color theme for the wedding to be chartreuse and neon orange?"

"_What_?" he asked incredulously, sitting up.

She did as well, facing him. "I'm serious! You told me we weren't getting married if the color palette wasn't chartreuse and neon orange. And when I argued for something a little bit more subtle, you just left me. Castle, how could you be so materialistic?"

By this time, Castle was cracking up, his body wracked with laughs. "Kate, seriously?"

As the dream became more distant and started sounding ridiculous, she began to laugh too. "Sorry, it all felt so real for a moment."

"It's okay, I was in a really light sleep anyways," he promised her, rubbing a hand up and down her arm.

"What _do_ you want our color theme to be?" she asked since they were already on the topic.

Castle pondered it for a moment. "I was actually thinking about a deep purple and white. We could do different shades of purple for flowers and it would a nice color since the wedding is going to be in March. Not too cold but not a warm color either."

"Mm," was her response as she snuggled into him, relishing in his warmth. He just draped and arm around her and rested his head against the top of hers.

"Should start calling you Artist Man 'cause those colors are perfect," she told him sleepily.

"You think so?" he asked, ego dripping off every word. She did not respond. Kate was once again fast asleep against him and, hopping on the bandwagon, Castle soon joined her.

* * *

**No matter how case-heavy or dark a chapter is, I like to end on a light note. Because, really, Castle and Beckett will always be okay. After all, they possess real magic :) Please review if you get the chance.**


	13. Kate's Day Off

**Hello dear readers! Enjoy this next installment, it's quite fluffy. **

* * *

Under a heap of blankets and very soft pillows, a quiet groan escaped Kate Beckett's mouth. She could not feel her toes, even under the mess and the rest of her body was feeling cold too. Late February had taken a turn for the worse and when Kate and Castle went to sleep last night it was snowing. It was not like she had to be at work, Gates gave her team today until Monday off after they ran ragged doing two homicides and the ever-persistent poisoning case.

_The poisoning case_, Kate thought to herself. It was not her case any longer. She was just one of the victims. Yesterday she had fought tooth and nail to keep the case open, but Captain Gates had the final word...

_"You guys are homicide cops and this case is going no where, Detective Beckett," Gates had reasoned with her. _

_ "But Sir, I _need_ to see this case through! I owe it to those other women and to myself," she argued._

_ Gates raised her hand for the detective to stop talking. "Not another word. I am closing this case. You and your team need to start focusing on homicide like your job description says."_

_ Kate glared mutinously out the window and huffed a breath. "Fine," she muttered with no respect to her superior._

_ Walking around her desk, the Captain put a hand on her subordinate's shoulder._

_ "Kate," she said in a more friendly tone, "This case has run you to the very end. I can't watch it like this any longer. You need to put this behind you and move past it. And maybe, when it rears its head again in some way, you'll be ready to face it with more vigor."_

_ "So you're telling me to take a break and then come back to it fresh in a while after other people have taken a look at it?" Kate reasoned._

_ Gates nodded._

So, now she was lying in bed while snow fell outside and the smell of coffee wafted from the kitchen. Coffee? That made Kate perk up and poke her head out of the blankets so that she looked like a groundhog coming out of hibernation.

"So glad that you came out of hibernation to grace the world, Detective Beckett," Castle said in a prissy voice as he walked into their bedroom. He was carrying a tray with breakfast for two and was wearing a loving smile on his face as he looked down at her.

Kate smiled, stretching herself out and rustling under the mound of blankets. Delicious breakfast scents swirled in her nostrils, inviting her to peek the rest of the way out from the blankets and gaze up at Castle.

"G'morning," she greeted him sleepily, her eyes blinking out the haze of slumber.

"Good morning yourself, Kate," he returned, sitting on the bed beside her. She shifted from under the covers into a sitting position and yawned again.

"How long have you been up?" she asked him, waking some more.

Castle shrugged. "Since around seven thirty," he told her, "Snow just picked up again. It was only flurries before."

"Guess we're stuck inside," Kate remarked in a faux-glum tone.

"Poor us," Castle added sarcastically. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, but before things could escalate Kate pulled away.

"Castle, I'm hungry. Food first, sex later," she told him firmly.

He faked a pout, but resigned the mood with an "all right…" and a sigh. Kate just laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder and scrunching then extending her fingers. The writer's pout quickly turned into an adorable smile and he reached to the breakfast tray for a strawberry. She eyed it for a second, memories of the fruit basket rushing through her mind and ebbing away just as quickly.

Mentally shaking the thought from her head, she smiled and opened her mouth up. Castle placed the strawberry inside and she bit into it, letting the fruit juices fill her mouth with fireworks of flavor.

"These are fantastic," she mumbled around the fruity mush in her mouth.

"Manners, Katherine," he replied with a chuckle.

She frowned as she swallowed, but it quickly changed to a smile again. As she and Castle took turns feeding each other, Kate glanced out the window. "How much snow is on the ground?" she asked him.

He shrugged while spooning her oatmeal. "A little over a foot when I saw the weather report, but they think we might get a foot more. Odd for February," he commented.

"But perfect cuddle-weather," Kate replied with a shy smile.

Castle grinned. "I'm your man for that!"

"I thought that was Connelly," Kate deadpanned. Castle blinked at her in surprise and she just started laughing at his puppy-dog expression.

* * *

They spent the remainder of the morning wrapped up in each other, eventually making their way onto the couch. Kate could not help but think of the similarities between this day and the one that had placed her in a coma. She and Castle barely talked about it anymore, except as a case.

However, that did not mean it was completely out of her mind. In fact, she had begun to worry she was starting to mix dreams and nightmares with reality. The times when she closed her eyes and ended up back in the Netherworld were still chilling, but each time she would blink and see the bright blue eyes of her angel looking down upon her. Kate was not sure if those moments were real or not, but she knew she had a guardian. When she saw those eyes, she would feel safe and drift right back in a happier place for the remainder of the night.

Taking a bold step, Kate spoke. "Castle?" she murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Remember when I woke up from the coma and told you that story about how when I opened my eyes, I saw an angel with blue eyes?" she started.

"Kind of- but I just thought you were in a haze or something," he told her, a bit apologetically.

Kate looked up at him. "I wasn't in a haze. I _saw _it. And then you were there. I couldn't tell if I had been dreaming or if there really was an angel there."

"You said it was me," Castle mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Nothing," he quickly told her, "Continue."

Kate nodded. "Well, I've been thinking about it recently. Every time I have those nightmares, I see the angel again at the end of them. It's just comforting. But now I'm not sure if it's real or not. I mean, I don't usually remember my nightmares (though I know what probably happened in them) but I do remember my angel at the end. And then I just go back to dreaming. I've just been wondering if you think it's real or I'm just imagining it."

Castle was simply silent. To be honest, he was quite jealous of this figment of Kate's imagination because he remembers distinctly her saying that it was him. He wished it was him or at least that she still thought it was him. He had heard her cries in the night and always leaned over to caress her face until she fell back into a peaceful slumber. Could that possibly mean it was him? That she still saw him as the angel? _Maybe…_

"Castle?"

His attention returned to his fiancée. "Oh, um, well, I don't really have an answer for you, Kate. I always know when you're having a nightmare and usually I just watch over you until you start sleeping peacefully again."

Kate moved into sitting position to face Castle. "You watch over me?"

He gave her a sheepish look, she hated when he watched her sleep.

The detective's eyes raked over him and then settled on staring straight into his own. They were precisely the shade of blue that her angel's eyes were. She never even made the connection before.

"You were standing over me when I came out of the coma," she stated.

He nodded.

"What were you doing?"

"I had just asked your father his permission to let me marry you when you woke up. And he said yes. I was so excited that I got up, told you we were getting married, and kissed you. Then you woke up."

"You kissed me?"

"Yeah."

"And I woke up?"

"Yeah."

"Not much of an angel," she told him. He looked a bit wounded at that statement before she added, "More like my prince charming."

"Wait, how did we go from angel to prince charming?" he asked, suddenly confused.

Kate smirked and leaned forward to kiss him. "You're the novelist," she whispered, "Figure it out."

* * *

**Next we see what Castle figures out and a little more of the case.**


	14. Ever Ever After

**And so we have reached the end of our tale, I hope you have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing! Please just note that this story was never supposed to be about the poisoning case so I chose not to focus on it. **

* * *

_Seven months into the future…_

When Captain Victoria Gates told her best detective to stop investigating a case until later, she had never meant forever. She fully expected Kate Beckett to come into her office a few days, even a week, later and politely demand that she continue investigating her poisoning.

Kate Beckett never did such a thing.

Nevertheless, Captain Gates stuck by her belief that Kate Beckett _would_ have done that. She did not, however, believe that Kate Almost-Castle-Beckett would do it. Gates was not wrong.

She currently sat in her office, behind her "so clean, you can put your makeup on looking into it" desk, reading a report with her glasses down on her nose. The elusive criminal, responsible for three poisonings of women with Carfentanil (one an NYPD detective), was apprehended and plead guilty last night. The arresting officers were not from the Twelfth Precinct, but Gates figured she could let that case closure slide.

The formidable woman sat back in her chair after finishing the report and smiled to herself. She glanced around her walls which had framed newspaper clippings of various cases her Precinct had closed, many featured a familiar duo.

"Good always wins," she murmured.

* * *

For the writer in Castle and the closet fairytale enthusiast in Kate, getting married in the _Lohrer Schloss_ was a dream come true. Kate had no idea how her soon-to-be husband managed it, but he got the venue and flew their small number of guests out to _Lohr _ for the ceremony and reception.

Although the story of how they got to the castle had terrible beginnings, Kate, over the months, had realized that the apple that poisoned her made her stronger. She _walked away_ from a personal case. This was a feat she did not know she was capable of doing, as she had never given up her mother's case.

_Her mother_…

The only part about being in Germany that did not sit well with Kate was that her mother was an ocean away. Her heart felt that familiar ache when the thought came to mind. More than anything, she wanted her mom to see her happy ending. No matter how many times people told Kate "Johanna is watching from wherever she is," the detective would not listen. Even if people could watch from beyond the grave, how was she _sure_ her mom saw it?

There was a knock on the door, and Kate turned from facing the window out onto town.

"Katie?" her dad popped his head in the room, eyes lighting up when he saw his daughter all in white.

She smiled in greeting and made her way to the door before he even had a chance to tell her it was time to go. By silent communication, he opened his arms and she bent a little to hug him. Salty tears stung both their eyes; they knew what this moment meant to one another.

The entire ordeal was the proudest memory Jim Beckett had. Katie walking down the aisle, the ceremony, the "I do," maybe not the passionate kiss afterwards ("so typically them," Esposito had remarked), and the smile on Katie's face throughout the whole reception. A father could not ask for any more than that. He was forever grateful to Richard Castle for making Katie's life happy again.

* * *

Everyone talked about their wedding and asked questions about their honeymoon for weeks afterwards. Except for a few…specific details, their friends knew the entire itinerary. The one question Kate would not answer was "what was your favorite part out of it all?" She wanted to keep that a secret. But it replayed in her mind over and over again.

The night after they got back from their honeymoon, the newlyweds stood out on their balcony and watched as stars began to light up the sky. Castle only left one candle lit so that neither of them tripped and fell off the balcony ("I'm not that clumsy!" Kate had protested when he explained his logic. He only chuckled, making sure not to reveal the real reason was for _his _safety.).

There they stood, Castle's arms wound around his wife from behind as they gazed up at the sky together.

"I have something for you," he suddenly whispered to her.

She turned her head and blinked at him. "Now?"

Castle did not answer, but unwound himself from Kate and went inside the house for a moment. When he came back, he was holding a bundle of balloons that were all tired to a single note.

"What's this?" she asked with an adorable smile.

"Open it," he told her, grabbing the candle and holding it so she could read the note.

Kate opened it to see a picture of her and Castle during their wedding ceremony, right as she was saying "I do," and a message in neat print reading:

_In case you missed it, Mrs. Beckett, your daughter's fairytale became a reality. Love, your new son-in-law, Richard Castle_

For a minute after reading, Kate did not say anything. She just stared at the note. Then she sniffed. Then her face began to shine.

"Hey," Castle soothed her, "hey, don't cry. It's okay, it's happy." He put down the candle so he could wrap her arms around her once more and press a kiss to her hairline.

She let out one note of a laugh and then sniffed again. "No, Castle, I love it. I'm just… this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Sweeter than being proposed to, even."

"Really?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Really," she replied, "But can I add something?"

Castle nodded and fetched a pen for her. She opened the note once more and, next to her husband's message, printed her own in messier print which read:

_Wish you could have been there, Mom! You could have shared the toe-stepping I endured from Dad and Rick. Love, Katie_

"Okay," she said, capping the pen, "I think it's ready to be mailed."

Castle's hand over her own, Kate lifted the message and balloons into the air and then released them. The couple went back to their original position as they watched the balloons climb higher and higher into the night sky.

After a while, Kate turned to her husband and smiled up at him. Her eyes swam with emotion when they locked on to his.

"I truly love you, Richard Castle," she murmured as she stretched up to kiss him.

"And I truly love you, Katherine Castle," he replied as he cupped her face, "Always."

And they lived happily ever after… give or take the occasional murderer.

* * *

**Some trivia for you: _Lohr a. Main_ is thought to be the birthplace of the original Snow White, Maria Sophia Margaretha Catherina von Erthal (excellent name, if you ask me) and she lived in the _Lohrer Schloss_. **

**Review please! I really care about your thoughts! Also, if anyone has read my fic "The Strawberry Story," I have decided to continue the arc with another story currently titled "Of Thoroughbred Registries and Baby Names"**


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